Loving Mr Spock by Barbara Jacobs, Chapter Negotiating Relationships with Aspergers

This chapter contains some useful points which would be helpful in most relationships let alone those with Aspergers. Here are some that I thought useful and I have paraphrased and shortened them accordingly.

Do...

• Give clear unequivecal messages, whether these are instructions, information or requests.
• Be prepared to allow time for these messages to sink in.
• Choose the right time and place for communicating.
• Start sentences with 'I' rather than 'You' as it can interpreted as blame if you start with 'You'.
• Make lists, write things down,... as well as talk.
• Explain things using analogies and past experiences/knowledge.
• Announce changes in advance to give time for adaptation.
• Explain the rules of each social occasion.
• Allow space and time alone for personal hobbies.
• Keep yourself busy with your own life, family, friends and leisure.
• Be logical during an argument.
• Ask for hugs and intimacy when required.

Don't...

• Make assumptions that your partner understands the emotions you are trying to express.
• Overstress or overload the Asperger with love.
• Use conventional expressions like, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!", etc. They are meaningless and insulting to Aspergers.
• Expect any DIY or much help around the house.
• Be confrontational.
• Look for hidden agendas. Aspergers are literal.
• Drop subtle hints. Messages of this kind will not be understood.
• Expect conventional reassurance when you're down.
• Compel your Asperger partner to attend family and social functions.
• Give up trying. Aspergers are very loyal [and worth the effort].

Ghandi Naked Ambition by Jad Adams - Chapter Partition and Death

"... drew up a plan for restoring harmony in a place where some three hundred homes had been plundered and burnt down. His mind filled with the example of Jesus, 'a man who was completely innocent [, who] offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies'. Answering a rhetorical question as to the truth of Jesus' story he said: "To me it is truer than history because I hold it to be possible and enshrines an eternal law - the law of vicarious and innocent suffering taken in its true sense". [p253-4 How Ghandi interpreted and was influenced by Jesus' sacrifice] 

Ghandi always took the pursuit of extreme brahmachari (pacifism) as the only valid response to conflict. Even with genocide occurring between Muslims and Hindus on the eve of the partition of Pakistan and India when more than 5000 had been killed, 20000 injured and hundreds of homes burnt, he stood by his principles! And even when there was a possibility Japan would invade India during the second world war! To Ghandi, to sway away from his values was to him a personal failure and an admission of the failure of his principles, even if it cost thousands of lives.

Observations on the Mussulmauns of India by Mrs. Meer Hassan Ali. Chapter: Letter XXIII

I am acquainted with some Natives who designate the Sufis 'Freemasons' but I imagine this to be rather on account of both possessing a secret, than for any similarity in other respects, between the two orders of people. [Other Muslim groups have had the 'freemason' label thrown at them as well. Typical 'fear of the unknown' approach]

[The two classes of Sufis in India - Saaliks and Majoobs:]

I must explain, however, that there are two classes of the professedly devout Soofies, viz. the Saalik, and the Majoob.[3] 

The true Saalik Soofies are those who give up the world and its allurements, abstain from all sensual enjoyments, rarely associate with their fellow-men, devote themselves entirely to their Creator, and are insensible to any other enjoyments but such as they derive from their devotional exercises.

The Majoob Soofies have no established home nor earthly possessions; they drink wine and spirits freely, when they can obtain them. Many people suppose this class have lost the possession of their reason, and make excuse for their departure from the law on that score. Both classes are nevertheless in great respect, because the latter are not deemed guilty of breaking the law, since they are supposed to be insensible of their actions whilst indulging in the forbidden juice of the grape.

Haafiz,[4] the celebrated poet of Persia, it is related, was a Soofie of the Majoob class, he lived without a thought of providing for future exigencies, accepted the offerings of food from his neighbour, drank wine freely when offered to him, and slept under any shed or hovel he met with, as contented as if he was in the palace of a king.

Saadie,[5] the Persian poet, was, during the latter years of his life, a Saalik Soofie of the most perfect kind. Many of the inspirations of his pen, however, were written in that part of his life which was devoted to the world and its enjoyments; yet most of these indicate purity of thought in a remarkable degree. Saadie's life was subject to the most extraordinary vicissitudes; he possessed an independent mind, scorning every allurement of wealth which might tend to shackle his principles. He is said to have repeatedly rejected offers of patronage and pecuniary assistance from many noblemen, whilst he still loved the world's enticements, declaring he never could submit to confine himself to attendance on an earthly master for any lengthened period. His wit, pleasing deportment, and polite manners, together with the amiable qualities of his heart, rendered him a general favourite, and they who could boast most intimacy with Saadie were the most honoured by the world; for, though but the poor Saadie, he shed a lustre over the assemblies of the great and noble in birth or station, by his brilliant mind.

[FYI, this book is replete with mispronunciations and misspellings but for the most part the information is accurate. http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13127]

The Spirituality of Shi'i Islam: Belief and Practices By Mohammad Ali Amir-Moezzi

I managed to arrive to this book through following a link-trail on Wikipedia re-reading up on Zoroastrianism and only bothered reading Part 1 of the book. An interesting quote from Mary Boyce, author of Zoroastrians: Their religious beliefs and practices, p151, led me to delve deeper into the subject as it made little sense and conflicted with my previously-held knowledge.

The other main element was the legend that Husayn, son of Ali (the fourth orthodox caliph, and grandson of Muhammad by his daughter Fatima) had married a captive Sasanian princess called Shahrbanu, the 'Lady of the Land'. This wholly fictitious figure, whose name appears to derive from a cult-epithet of Ardvisur Anahid, was held to have borne Husayn a son, the historical fourth Shi' a Imam; [Zoroastrians: Their religious beliefs and practices by Mary Boyce, p151]

This raised the question of why on earth she would equate an ancient Persian goddess of water and fertility with a person who existed in recent times and was not seen in any divine light, since we are dealing with Muslim beliefs that reject any demi-gods.

With a quick Google search I discovered the book: The Spirituality of Shi'i Islam: Belief and Practices By Mohammad Ali Amir-Moezzi. From chapter 1 to 4 it discusses the origins of "Shahrbanu" being the mother of Ali ibn Al-Hussain (AS). What is interesting is it states that this belief was evolved by several Persians around 282AH+ and the myth of the Sasanian princess exploded in Shi'i literature because people were too lazy to look into the details and confirm it... yet later on in the book it reveals the poet Abu Aswad al-Du'ali in 69AH mentions the mother of the Imam to be the daughter of Kisra (Yazdgird III). (more about this below).

Furthermore the myth was used to promote Persian-Araboislamic relations and perhaps played a role in the acceptance of the Muslim faith amongst the higher class Persians initially, followed by the lower class (the spread of Islam in Persia was irregular and unusual).

But Shi'a Islam is known for its scholarly approach to studying the original texts and logical thinking and reasoning and that is why we have this gem of a book available to us.

It states Imam Ali Ibn Al-Hussain's (AS) mother was originally called Sulafa or Ghazala and was an enslaved woman captured by the Muslim armies. An interesting quote from the infamous author of Al-Kafi by Al-Kulayni (329AH) also reiterates her being of noble birth but states her name to be 'salama', but those versed in Qur'anic text may be familiar with this word and its usage in the Qur'an and it is quite possible that it is not used as a literal name, but rather a descriptive metaphor about the personality of the Imam's mother, in that she is peaceful and/or comforting [see Quran 21:69].

Most interesting, Al-Kulayni quotes Abu Aswad al-Du'ali 's poem on the subject from 69AH which mentions the mother of the Imam to be the daughter of Kisra (Yazdgird III). The quote also contains mention of the "evil eye", which leads me to think this is not a valid source and my doubt about this source is acertained by al-Kulayni's well known method to have lay out the chapters of his Kafi book in order of trustworthiness of the narrations from the highest in trustworthiness at the beginning to the lowest trustworthiness at the end of the chapter, and this quote features near the end (according to Amir-Moezzi). Also, Amir-Moezzi points out that this poem is probably not by Abu Aswad al-Du'ali.

As for stories of how Shahrbanu gets to be associated with the Imams, there are different stories. Some say she was captured during Omar's caliphate, others Uthman's caliphate, and there are other variations. The only consistency between these stories is that she was a Persian woman who was captured by the Muslim army, enslaved as a prisoner/booty of war, was freed by Imam Ali (AS) and of her own free-will chose to marry Hussain ibn Ali (AS).

From page 87 it starts to explain Mary Boyce's belief about Ardvisur Anahid. Basically, she and a couple of modern Persian scholars try very hard to associate ancient Zoroastrian beliefs with the name Shahrbanu and come to the conclusion that there are various parallels between the myths about Shahrbanu in Islamic texts and the pagan worship of Anahid. Thus she equates Shahrbanu as a continuation of the worship of this pagan god though Persian Muslim traditions of visiting a particular spring and ascribing miracles surrounding the escape of Shahrbanu from the army of Yazid I after the massacre of Hussain ibn Ali and his companions in Karbala, Iraq, and her connection with God through intercession, especially for infertile women. But this makes little sense to me as the location of this spring in Iran is many hundreds of miles away from the plains of Karbala so I have no idea how the two can be connected.

It is worrisome that incorrect history keeps being repeated and Islamic scholars need to stand up to such ignorance and educate the masses and not continue stating she was the daughter of Kisra.